Escape
by Femme27
Summary: Follows Callie's journey now that she has run away from home. Can the Fosters get her to return and face her demons, or does Callie have other plans? Rated T for language and violence. Please review!
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One: Adjusting to the Darkness**

Callie sat up abruptly, startling the couch springs she was currently draped across and causing them to squawk irritably. Her eyes quickly adjusted to the darkness but did not register their immediate surroundings. Her watch read 4:02 am and she breathed an audible sigh of relief, albeit a short-lived one. Time rooted Callie to reality in a way that nothing else could. She engaged in a familiar game: Where am I today? Scanning the black that enveloped her, Callie could just decipher the outlines of an old rocking chair to her left. The sheets that loosely covered her stiff and aching body smelled of moth repellant and were adorned in a crisp lace. Handmade? Most definitely old. Clues slowly swam to Callie as the seconds ticked by in rhythm with her heart.

Wyatt's grandmother's house. Indiana.

The events of the last week came flooding back now, and Callie squeezed her eyes shut again in response, willing oblivion to wash back over her and erase all of the mistakes. Or at least her memory of them. She could effortlessly identify what she needed now. It felt so odd. It had been so long. Since Juvie. But, even back then, however hard she had fought to repress it, she'd still had her childish hopes to sustain her.

This was worse. She had gained and lost her silent hope so fast that a wave of nausea crept up Callie's throat at the thought of it. She swallowed hard and repeated her mantra while breathing deeply. _No weakness. No weakness._

The irony of it all twisted the pit of her stomach. She had actually obtained what she tried to deny herself from yearning for all of these years, the concept that she fiercely adopted as one that did not matter to her in the slightest: an offer to love her… unconditionally… to keep her and Jude. Over the years, "the thing with feathers" demanded inhibition because its open existence could have shattered her. No expectation equals no consequent disappointment or pain. Callie knew that as surely as she knew her own rap sheet.

So, as Stef's words had slowly registered, Callie had cautiously stolen glances at her foster mothers' faces, her downcast eyes drifting back and forth between them as though judging traffic patterns and whether or not it was safe to cross… _Did they actually look slightly fearful, or was that Callie's imagination playing cruel tricks? As though her answer would truly affect them. Pity was all they felt for her_, Callie mentally justified, her protective instincts kicking in_. It was Jude that they preferred; she was just a burdensome appendage. _

But, try as she might, in that moment all of Callie's half-buried hopes had danced in front of her like mocking ghosts, and it had just been too much. She had lost herself and become drunk on the teasing mirage of it all; her dreams becoming material, something she could maybe touch, hold onto for dear life, forever. Briefly, the image of Pinocchio flashed before her still closed eyes, and, "Look Pa! I'm a real boy!" rang in her ears. She should have known that her wishes were wooden and that they could easily burn in the flame of her desires. And fires got out of control. Quickly. Callie laughed bitterly, and then checked herself for it. She was not alone in this house after all, and she couldn't get caught now. Not when she had a plan.

**Chapter Two: What is there to Say?**

It had been a long drive to Indiana. Wyatt had not pressed her to talk about why she was on this particular odyssey, but that changed after they had both tensed up when his phone rang yesterday afternoon. Callie's hand had jumped of its own accord when she saw the familiar number scrolling across his screen. A quiet but insistent, "No!" escaped her lips as her hand hurriedly guided his away from the vibrating device. Wyatt had consented, but his eagerness to know the truth outweighed his natural tendency for respect at that point.

"Why aren't you talking to Stef and Lena, Callie?" He had inquired, keeping his eyes on the road while attempting to exude indifference. "They are obviously worried about you. Did something happen with Brandon?" At this, he had turned and faced her without judgment, although the core of him still resonated with the sting of rejection.

Callie had exhaled deeply, turning her cheek to the passenger window so that she could watch the cornfields fly by. She had not known that there was so much open space outside of California. If Stef was calling Wyatt, then it wasn't long before she would track Callie down and bring her home. _She could not let that happen. She had promised Jude that she would be selfless, and this was what that looked like._ Callie knew that she would have to leave the comfort of Wyatt's familiarity soon, and she wanted to confide in him. After all, he had pushed her to pursue Brandon, so it wasn't like she had to defend herself entirely. On the other hand, if Stef was close to finding them, the less Wyatt knew the better. What if he told the Fosters that Callie and Brandon had kissed? On the other hand, what if Jude or Brandon told them? Callie didn't think that the latter was likely, or even the former, but her head was spinning with all of the possibilities, and none of the results appeared favorable. Because of that, she had told Wyatt the truth. They kept driving. After all, what was there to say?

**Chapter Three: Urgency**

Callie rose from the antiquated couch, having fully redeemed her faculties. A sense of urgency was passing over her now that she had set her mind on the task ahead. The clock read 4:05 am. She was sure that Wyatt and his family would not rise for at least another hour, so she had the time that she craved, even though she knew that it would be smarter to head out immediately. She felt around the folds of her bag, anxiously seeking what she had not needed for so long. She turned a dry sob into a cynical chuckle with effort. To think that she had almost thrown it away. To think that she had actually believed, even for an instant, that she could be healthy, that she could love and be loved. For a while, she had even convinced herself that no one would ever have to find out this sordid detail of her past—after all, the scars littered her inner thighs, and Callie would not let anyone close enough to see them, ever. She had been led astray enough to believe that this means of survival would simply vanish, untraceable, with impunity. She could not fathom how she had let her guard down so considerably as to allow for this belief in the first place. It was certainly not a conscious decision, but one that had wormed its way into her psyche, born of the countless smiles and endearing comments bestowed upon her. All of which were lost now. She had nailed the coffin shut herself, with her lips no less. As she found her treasure and twirled the trapezoid blade in her fingertips, Callie contemplated the placement of her newest reminder that she was undoubtedly cursed, and surely not deserving of anyone's affection. The metal felt cold, but Callie was warmed by the reunion. She wanted to look as ugly as she felt. To mark herself as undesirable forever, so that no one else could crack the foundations of her soul in the way that Stef and Lena had.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Four: On My Way**

Stef shook her head quickly, blinked aggressively and breathed deeply, trying desperately to shock her brain cells into remaining alert. She had been driving for 24 hours, and the roads were starting to blend together in disturbing patterns. She knew that she had to pull over and try to sleep for a little bit, or she would be of no help to anyone, least of all Callie. _Oh, Callie._ Stef's mind seemed to dramatically exhale as though she had spoken the name aloud. _What are we going to do about Callie? Find her first_, a voice inside responded. _Find her, make sure that she is safe, and then kick her ass myself. _She had to give the girl credit; she sure knew how to escape.

**Chapter Five: Only Option**

It started to drizzle at first, and by the time that Callie had walked all but half a block, the lightening struck. _Shit._ She hoisted her bag into a more comfortable position on her shoulder, hoping to block some of the oncoming onslaught. In doing so, her forearm rubbed against her jeans in just a way that made Callie inhale sharply, adjusting to the darkness again, adjusting to the new pain that had caught her off guard. She was left feeling aggravated, fearful and ashamed. _Why was she surprised? _She always felt this way afterwards. Except this time, she had no reason to be afraid. No reason to worry at all that anyone would find out, report it, place her in a new hell of the government's making. No. Not this time. That's why she had made her mark on the wrist for once, a bitter reminder that she was alone and that it was for the best.

As thunder rumbled the ground beneath her feet, Callie scanned the area for immediate shelter. _Damnit, why are there so many trees in Indiana? _She had hoped that the sky would perk up soon and make it easier for her to navigate these strange streets in search of a bus stop, but luck was never in her favor. She leaned against the brick of a nearby building, willing the rain to cease. She never caught a break, not even in a brand new state. She remembered the hushed conversations that she had tried not to overhear the night before, and it had been difficult not to rush in and assert, "You don't have to worry because I'm leaving at the crack of dawn. I'm not another mouth to feed, so don't be mad at Wyatt. I will not be a burden on you or anyone else, ever again. Thank you for the couch this evening. Goodnight."

The one positive about the rain was that Callie could cry. At least the universe seemed to understand.

She was just about to resume her trek, since the weather wasn't abiding anyway, when a pair of sweeping headlights blinded her. Callie instinctively twisted to sprint but saw only blurred red brick in front of her. Time, her only constant, slowed enough for her thoughts to dissemble and reform: _This cannot happen again… I cannot believe that this is going to happen again… Why me? ... No… I will not let it… But I can't run… there's no where to go… it's dark… I'll lose all of my possessions… I'm not fast enough… _She left her body just long enough to see all of her surrounding angles from a disoriented bird's eye view, and to accept that she could not escape from whatever or whomever was determinedly exiting the car door a mere 15 feet in front of her. _No one can take from me what I willingly give. This is my only option. I will bargain for a ride, maybe money… I am strong, and I am worthless… This is my only option. _

She steeled herself upon this decision, and her muscles went rigid, but her voice rang out as smooth as honey, "Hey there, baby. I could use a ride. What could _you_ use?"

**Chapter Six: Into the Light**

Callie's heart was beating in her ears, and she could still not discern the object drawing near her. The headlights created an aura of light around the approaching figure, and then, suddenly, Callie was lost in the light as well, arms pinned to her sides in a bone-crushing embrace.

Callie's stomach dropped down the rabbit hole as she registered Stef Foster's fragrance and the loud admonishment.

"You did NOT say what I think you just said. My God. It is so good to see you. My sweet girl," Stef held Callie at arms length now but did not release her death grip.

Her words were punctuated statements, "I'M SO ANGRY WITH YOU. Come. Come. Love, get into the car. It's freezing here." Stef tugged Callie to the passenger side door, her face wildly alternating between fury and obvious relief. She gently guided Callie's head into the vehicle, half out of habit and half because Callie had in fact broken the law by running away, and then seemed hesitant to leave her side long enough to jump back into the driver's seat.

Once in, she triggered the locks and massaged her fingers through her soaked hair, leaving it wavy and as disheveled as she felt.

"I'm sorry, love. I need to know that you're not going anywhere. Ok?" Stef rubbed her palms up and down her thighs in an attempt to regain her composure and calm her own erratic heart.

Callie sat in a stunned silence, staring only at the hands in her lap. They must be her own. She flexed the fingers and watched them move. This couldn't be real. She was numb. Moments ago, she had come to grips with having to step into her nightmares in order to survive. In order to get away… in order to be selfless…

Stef watched her in silence as she grappled with the demons long enough to come to the surface again, to accept the new reality of where she was and whom she was with.

Present now, Callie fought the temptation to sag in her seat, angry with the relief that was overwhelming her. She had to hang onto that anger, she knew. It was fuel for the fire. She had gone too far this time. She could not give into the security that she instantly felt around Stef. But, even after acknowledging that fact, it was as though exhaustion lay on her like a blanket, and Stef's embrace had been a goodnight lullaby. She leaned against the headrest. Her eyes closed.

"Callie?"


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Seven: The Safety of Silence**

Callie kept her eyes blissfully shut, wishing that she could answer, but easily justifying that there was nothing to say. Once Stef learned the whole truth, she'd want to kick Callie back to the curb—if she didn't already. _My God, had Stef actually caught her attempting to use her body as a means of transaction? Does she think that what happened with Liam was an elaborate hoax now? _Of course, Stef could never understand why she had responded the way that she had… _Could she? _Callie had fought against situations like the one that she was sure she was facing when those headlights first restrained her— and she had lost every battle. Maybe this time, if she initiated a "yes" instead of screaming "NO!"… maybe she could have won a small sense of control, however convoluted.

Callie knew that Stef leaving her behind would be for the best; after all, that's why she had run away in the first place, but she couldn't bring herself to make it happen just yet. She was simply too tired, so she allowed silence to be her shield.

Callie heard a vague tussling in the darkness and then buttons being pressed. Stef's maternal voice filled the small car as she shifted into drive, unable to suppress yet another sidelong peek at her mute companion.

"Lena? I've got her." There was a pregnant pause and then, "Yes, I think so. It's a little hard to tell at the moment…" Another delay made Callie swallow dryly, longing to hear both ends of the conversation but not wanting to at the same time. "Yes, me too… I'm fine, my love. We are going to eventually have to find a place to spend the night though. I'll drive as long as I can… How are my babies?" Callie imagined Stef to be smiling at Lena's response that their children were in fact all right. Callie didn't feel all right, however—far from it. There was bile swirling in her empty stomach, and her throat seemed to be sealing up on her with a fearful quickness.

Stef closed the dialogue with reassurance, "I will tell her…. Yes, I promise. I love you too." There was a snap and then more silence.

Even without opening her eyes, Callie could feel Stef's weight shift and the open gaze now upon her. _How long had they been in the car? How long could she get away without speaking?_ Her voice seemed to have flown the coop, and her wrist burned. She focused on the pain to regulate her breathing, attempting to roll her body towards the window as though she were naturally tossing in her sleep.

She felt Stef's fingers run through her wet and tangled hair, gently. Callie felt the tears arriving in response to the sweet gesture and tried desperately to cease their flight, all while feigning a deep slumber. She was assured that she had succeeded, until Stef's thumb swiped across her cheek and wiped an errant tear away.

"You're OK, my love. You are safe now," Stef's words were barely a whisper, but they cut through Callie like knives.

**Chapter Eight: Uncertainty**

Callie was not sleeping, and Stef knew it. Even though her brain and body ached with fatigue, Stef's adrenaline was still pumping, and her instincts were on high alert. She honestly didn't know what to do about her eldest child, and although she had convinced Lena that everything was OK, Stef wasn't sure of that truth at all.

The rain was still pounding on the windshield, and Stef cursed herself for not having replaced the wiper blades when Lena had requested it. She continued stealing nervous glances at Callie's still form. It was at least a 30-hour drive to San Diego, and Stef knew that she needed to talk to Callie before they got there. Plus, she had only gotten an hour or two of sleep herself. It was 7 am and the sky remained stubbornly ominous. Maybe it was better if they pulled over now. Lena would understand if the journey home took longer than anticipated.

**Chapter Nine: Resolve**

_They think that they love you, but they don't know you. Not really. Once they do, it will be just another denunciation. That's why you must denounce them before the inevitable occurs. Drive her away, once and for all. Just make sure that they will keep Jude first, no matter what…_

Callie knew in her heart that the voice was right, but that wasn't going to make what she had to do any easier. It was going to hurt her as much as it hurt them, probably more. She groaned inwardly, _how had she allowed Stef to locate her? Where had she gone wrong? Walking away was supposed to be easy. How dare they complicate her escape!_

When Jude came along, Callie had played nicely in the sandbox, for his sake. The Fosters were not truly acquainted with the hatred that she was capable of, the controlled anger that simmered directly under her skin, or the self-loathing that could unfurl itself and strike an innocent passerby on command.

Well, they would find out.

Callie was shocked out of her resolve when the car stopped, and she felt it shift into park. Without thinking, she opened her eyes. They couldn't be in California already.

"Good, you're awake."


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Thank you so much to those of you who have followed my story and written reviews; it means more to me than I can express, and it encourages me to continue. Please feel free to let me know if you want the story to go in a specific direction. You are all wonderful and inspiring authors. Thank you again!**

**Chapter Ten: "She Speaks!"**

A low-slung building with a red thatched roof loomed in front of the vehicle, a bright "Vacancy" sign flashing in Callie's eyes until she blinked and saw spots. The inhabitance was dilapidated, to say the least. A few scraggly cows munched on brown grass surrounding the edifice, clearly nonplussed by the continuous downpour.

"What are we doing here?" Callie croaked, forgetting her vow of silence in the confusion.

"She speaks!" Stef fist pumped the air and blessed Callie with such a wide, beautiful smile that it was hard not to rejoice with her; Stef's mood was always contagious. It was as though she possessed a magnetic field of her own making.

Callie pursed her lips in response, and Stef thought it best not to push her luck too far.

"I'd like to wait until the rain stops, nap and take a shower. You aren't the only one whose been traveling for days, sweets. Plus, I really need to get a good look at you for my own piece of mind. You've given us quite the scare." Stef dared to reach out and cup Callie's chin in her palm, turning it slightly so that the young girl could see her sincerity. "Did you know that? That we were worried sick?"

Callie stared stonily ahead, refusing to meet Stef's eyes, until the older woman dropped her hold with a sigh.

"Ok, my love. Let's go see if they've got a room for us."

**Chapter Eleven: No Windows**

Stef barely stopped herself from asking the pimple-faced boy behind the counter if they had any rooms without windows, not wanting to risk losing Callie again, but logically realizing just how off-kilter that sounded.

Her mind was reeling and the adrenaline waning; as she accepted the key card, Stef motioned for Callie to walk ahead of her, hoping to more carefully observe the girl now that they were finally indoors and out of the rain.

What she couldn't get out of her head was the echo of Callie's voice, calling, "What could _you_ use?" No matter how many times she had tried to dismiss the encounter, to shelf it for analysis at a later date, the words continued to ring in her ears and make her stomach uneasy. Stef had worked with victims before. She was not a stranger to the myriad of ways in which they coped, but she had also not recognized the depths of Callie's trauma. Apparently, she and Lena had only scratched the surface in their months with the girl. She knew that Callie had felt worthless, that much was clear in the first week—but Stef had really believed that progress was being made. Callie seemed happy, especially when they had spoken of their plans for adoption. _Had she been wrong all along? Had Callie never been content in their home? _Stef didn't think that was true; she was professionally observant after all, and she always felt it when something was up with her babies, even if she couldn't immediately put her finger on what. No, something new must have occurred. The girl walking unsteadily in front of her was more obviously damaged and closed off than the one who had arrived on her doorstep. _What was she missing?_

**Chapter Twelve: Ground Rules**

Callie stopped in front of Room 121, concentrating on the peeling paint of the doorframe. She felt Stef's presence behind her and lingered. It did not escape her attention that she had not been given a key of her own to carry; clearly, she was not to be trusted. Callie tried to muster up anger at this truth and fell short. She had certainly set a precedent of flight.

The smell that greeted the two women was worse than the sheets in Indiana.

"Yuck," Stef breathed, striding quickly over to the windows she was suddenly glad to have. "Let's let some fresh air in."

Noticing that Callie had not stirred from the doorway, Stef gestured for her to enter and sit. Instead, Callie threw her bags on the double bed closest to the exit and headed for the bathroom.

"Callie, I need you to stop right there, turn around and listen." Stef waited until Callie complied, looking more than a little surprised by the tone in her voice.

Stef continued with the confidence that she now had a full audience, "First and foremost, we need to get a few things straight. I know that you are probably tired and hungry and feeling all sorts of complicated emotions right now, but there are a few ground rules that need to be established nonetheless. Understood?"

Callie felt that she had no choice but to nod, although it was barely perceptible.

"Good. Rule number one is that you are not to be alone—under any circumstances. So, if you need to use the restroom, the door remains open." Stef paused at the shock of disbelief that passed over Callie's features, until it was plain that the gravity of her words had been measured. This was no joke. "Rule number two is equally important." Stef crossed the distance of the room so that she was directly in front of Callie. The register of her voice dropped by degrees, but the seriousness of her demands did not diminish. "It is that you try to come back to me, love."

Stef wanted to shake the girl at this, to physically pull her out of wherever she was, because it undoubtedly wasn't healthy. "Rule number two is that you remember that I am here for you, no matter what happens…" She placed her hands on Callie's shoulders, "…or happened… and that you try to trust me enough to talk."

Stef stepped back enough to give Callie room to digest her last request. Then, as though it were an afterthought, "Oh, and that's not going to be your bed—I'm pretty sure that it has my name on it already."

She couldn't help but smirk at the expression that danced across Callie's features, however quickly the storm passed. Stef was not born yesterday, but she was going to have to keep her wits about her on this trip, that was for sure.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Thirteen: Unlovable**

Callie could see Stef settle onto the bed that she had appointed as her own from the mirror in the bathroom. _How was she going to do this?_ Stef was a lot smarter than Callie had ever given her credit for, or bargained on for that matter. Her forearm was smarting, and Callie knew that she would have to address the wounds soon. It wasn't that she was afraid of a little infection, but there was a process that she was used to following, and now Stef was screwing everything up. _Maybe in the shower? _Callie glanced back at Stef, who was, of course, watching, and then balled her hands into fists on the counter in frustration.

"Do you need something, sweets? Do you feel OK? I call and see if they have room service, or we can take a trip to the vending machine."

Stef would have really liked to close her eyes and rest, but Callie was pacing in front of the bathroom mirror like a caged animal and desperation seemed to grow on her with every passing moment.

"No. I'm going to shower." Callie met Stef's questioning eyes briefly through the looking glass, and she added, "Don't worry. I'll keep the door open," to her statement.

Before Stef could respond, Callie jumped behind the curtain and began peeling off her layers so that she could run the hot water. She would have preferred a bath but knew that it would be far riskier if she allowed herself to relax and soak in her own self-pity.

The steam that immediately crowded the small stall eased Callie's breathing, yet she continued to turn the knob as far as possible to the right, eager for the scalding liquid to burn away the defiant droplet of hope that was migrating back into her heart. _Damn Stef for provoking her… As if she could fix this…fix her… by listening. How ridiculously deluded. _Callie desperately grasped at the straws of her anger, but she could not entirely squash the new voice that rose up quietly… _But, she came. She actually came. For me. _It was certainly new territory.

Callie tipped her head back and let the water wash over her with a sigh.

"I brought your bag in, Callie. I thought you'd want to change in here when you're done, since I'm such a meanie, and I won't give you any privacy." Stef hoped that Callie could hear the teasing in her voice and would not misinterpret her attempt at a kind gesture.

But unexpected kindnesses, however minimal, stranded Callie in her own reality, a world in which such actions were undeserved and to be resented at all costs. _If you trust in the compassion of others, they will ultimately disappoint you. Save yourself the trouble. _She gazed acrimoniously down at her naked wrist for the first time in hours, and the message reminded Callie of her pending intentions. For, as she carefully rinsed the puddles of dried blood caked to her pale skin, a word etched luminous on the surface: UNLOVABLE. The letters were crude and unbalanced across her forearm, some deeper than others, but unmistakably clear in their united function.

One glimpse was all that she needed to refocus her attention on driving Stef away. The rebellious bead of hope despondently dissipated as Callie worked on cleaning the abrasions. It yielded to the truth: _Even if I'm wrong and they do love me, they won't after seeing this. _It was a subconscious motivation of course—the livid welts were a new warning for anyone who challenged her space, who tried to break down her walls. But it was primarily a counsel for herself. Those walls were there for a reason, and nothing good ever came from destroying them. Look at what had happened when Callie had been caught off guard. She hadn't even noticed the cracks in her protective barrier until Jude had pulled the last stone away. And then she had tumbled faster than that stupid Jenga game that Jesus always wanted to play.

It wouldn't happen again.

**Chapter Fourteen: A Discovery and Recollection**

Stef was trying hard not to panic. She heard the water shut off in the other room and quickly shoved the trapezoid blade into her pocket. She hadn't meant to be nosy, she really hadn't. She just didn't want the girl to feel too uncomfortable about having no personal space, so she had picked up the bag to bring to Callie. But, as she deposited the surprisingly lightweight duffel on the bathroom floor, Stef had noticed a glint of metal peeking out of the stitching. As soon as she had uncovered the tool, an undeniable understanding dawned in her shattering heart. _This was not something that one carried unless they had a habit of using it. _Stef let out a shaky breath and returned to the bedroom, wishing that her next thoughts were unsubstantiated but knowing that they were not… _This was not going to be a quick fix. If Callie had an addiction, it would take months, even years, to end the cycle. Assuming that Callie was even willing to try. _God, she wished that she could talk to Lena right now. She needed her wife to give her the strength that she was going to require in order to have this conversation. There was no time to call her now, not without alerting Callie. Although there wasn't a doubt in her mind that they wanted to adopt both Jacobs' children, regardless of the past, this was far more than the couple had foreseen. _Had Callie self-harmed in the Foster household? _Stef couldn't remember seeing any wounds on Callie before, besides the obvious beating she'd received in Juvie, but Stef couldn't shake the fact that a first-time abuser wouldn't carry a blade like the one she'd just found. It spelled premeditation.

She leaned back in the floral recliner under the window now, resting her blonde head against the torn cushion and trying to recollect every situation she had experienced concerning SI. Perps were usually adolescent girls with a traumatic history, victims of crimes and runaways… _How had this not occurred to her earlier?_ They felt lost and out of control in their own life, so taking ownership of the pain was a form of reestablishing individual power. There was so much more related to the psychosis that Stef was currently at a loss to recall, but one lucky memory emerged vividly before her. A former self-injurer had come to the station at the chief's request last summer, the objective being a crash course in sensitivity training and victimology. Some of her coworkers had made a joke of the wasted lunch hour, but Stef was eternally grateful that the speaker's voice floated back to her now…

_A typical self-injurer will do whatever she can to push people away. She will go to extremes to do so. If she feels that she has succeeded, then she is justified in her irrational belief that it is impossible to love her unconditionally. She will probably have an incredibly low sense of self-worth but a distorted awareness of her own strength. Oftentimes, a self-injurer convinces herself that true strength is equivalent to enduring pain without complaint. The key to helping a person in this immediate situation is to prove that you are not physically going anywhere, no matter what she says or does. You must not leave her alone. You must help her to understand that it takes more strength to be consistently healthy than it does to self-harm…_

"Thanks for bringing me my clothes. I… uh… I guess I'm a little hungry now." Stef was startled out of her reverie as Callie stood awkwardly in the middle of the room, freshly laundered hair dripping haphazardly on the cheap shag carpet. Tears sprang to Stef's eyes at the sight of her, outfitted in new layers, but she swallowed them back forcibly, not wanting to frighten the girl by the intensity of her own sentiments.

Callie was attendant only in her own mind, however, and did not detect Stef's baffling reaction to her presence. _At least I won't have to talk with food in my mouth_, she hypothesized. But another voice inside of Callie crooned, sending cords of intimidation tingling down her spine: _You're a coward… why don't you just get this happy reunion over with already?_

**Chapter Fifteen: A Necessary Exchange**

"Breakfast of champions!" Stef exclaimed with only a slightly strained enthusiasm, dropping her goodies onto the nightstand between the two beds and urging Callie to do the same. Together, they surveyed the bounty. There were several packages of skittles, a bag or two of Doritos, some chocolate, of course, and a toothbrush for Stef, who was not as obviously prepared for this expedition as her companion was.

Stef felt guilty for providing such a malnourished meal, but the whole point of stopping had been to temporarily escape the vehicle, and the fine establishment that they had stumbled upon did not apparently see the wisdom in employing a kitchen staff—she had checked.

They munched in silence for a good ten minutes before Stef built up the courage to initiate the exchange that she knew was necessary.

Swallowing a lump in her throat, she launched the discussion. "Um, I found something when I grabbed your bag, Callie…" At this, Callie's face began to alter in shade at an alarming rate, although her thoughts remained mostly indiscernible. Stef tried to meet the teen's darting eyes, "and I can probably guess what you're thinking, but I promise you that I did not intentionally go through your things." Stef took another deep breath to steady her nerves, mentally reviewing everything that she had been taught about how to safely handle this situation, "but we do need to talk about why you are carrying an open blade in your backpack."

Without hesitation now, Stef extended her arms, spanning the short distance between them on the mattress; she clutched Callie's left hand in her own, slowly rotating it so that the palm faced towards her. As she lightly covered Callie's clothed forearm with her right hand in an inquiring gesture, a guttural moan spontaneously escaped the adolescent.

Callie's eyes had gone wide, and abject terror was visible in her reflection. Stef had moved so quickly, and Callie was caught so unawares that she felt initially paralyzed. But when Stef's hand made contact with her wrist, even through the protective attire, Callie's skin began screaming.

_This was it. No better time._ The girl steeled herself once more, and then entered yet another nightmare, opening her mouth to embrace her fate. The words spat out of her with as much coldness as she had ever mustered.

"Fuck you."


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Sixteen: Never That**

Stef reeled backwards as though physically struck, but she did not relinquish her hold on Callie. After a beat of perplexing silence, a smile slowly blossomed across her lips, and Stef tossed her head in a burst of genuine, raucous laughter.

"Is that all you've got, love? That's the best that you can do?" Stef squeezed Callie's hand affectionately in her own and fixed her twinkling gaze on the teen's awestruck eyes.

Although Callie was swiftly thrown off balance by the bizarre and unparalleled response to her lashing out, she rebounded equally rapidly.

"No. I seduced your son." There was less venom in Callie's character this time, but the words that she had uttered were the most dangerous weapons at her current disposal. _This show has to end now. The truth is finally out… all of it. There is no turning back._

Ignoring the cataclysmic tearing of her heart, Callie stared candidly back at Stef, boldly challenging the woman to pull away so that she could finally be free.

But, abruptly, Jude's face rose before her eyes, and Callie's stomach sickened at the image. _She had done it again. In the impulsive heat of her obsession to drive Stef away, she had stupidly forgotten that doing so wasn't just important for her own selfish protection—it was life altering for Jude. She had run to AVOID this very moment… _Revulsion possessed the girl with devilish speed.

Stef hadn't moved a muscle while Callie played judge and jury in her mind, condemning her own guilty soul. Her face had gone slack, that much was obvious, yet she hadn't stirred. Callie wasn't sure how to interpret the reaction, or lack thereof, but she was irrefutably confident that she couldn't handle the desperation beginning to throttle her once more. No longer caring who had the upper hand, Callie ferociously twisted her wrist in an attempt to liberate her limb from Stef's grasp, and she frantically scanned the room for an exit, needing to be anywhere but here, RIGHT NOW, or she was going to truly lose it.

Witnessing Callie skip from fight to flight so suddenly snapped Stef out of her astonishment and into mommy-mode. Answers to the hundreds of questions unexpectedly dominating her psyche could wait. _Callie's immediate safety and well-being is first and foremost._

Recognizing telltale signs of the adolescent's self-destructive anguish, Stef hurriedly shifted positions on the bed, placing her body at the rear of Callie's but not loosening her existing hold. She hugged the girl fiercely from behind, a non-threatening embrace that also served to limit Callie's potential movements.

Because, sure enough, the teen began to violently thrash on contact, digging her nails recklessly into Stef's smooth skin without any intention of ceasing. A broken plea escaped her chapped lips so diminutively that Stef wasn't sure that she had heard it at all. "Please… give it back to me." The tenuous form wrapped in Stef's solid arms seemed to writhe of its own accord.

It took a second for Stef to understand what was meant by the statement, and, when she did, no attempt was made to stop the tears from cascading down her cheeks. She rested her chin softly on Callie's shoulder so that her hair fashioned a defensive curtain around them, and so that her words would be perceptible.

"Shhh…baby… I would do most anything for you, but never that. Do you understand? Never that."


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Hey lovelies! I apologize for the delay in my update, and for the short chapter that follows. I've been REALLY busy with work and debating on whether or not I should continue, seeing as how there are so many similar plots now. I'd like to finish the story, if you all want me to… Please leave me a review and let me know what you all think—I will gladly bend to peer pressure :)**

**Chapter Seventeen: Rest**

When it became glaringly unambiguous that Callie was incapable of breaking Stef's clutch, and that she had honestly no cards left to play, she slumped despondently on the sunken mattress, entirely riddled with the exhaustion of her exerted efforts.

Taking a cue from the slight angle of Callie's now wilting figure, Stef relaxed her own posture enough to allow for the girl to comfortably lie down. She immediately curled onto her side and closed her swollen eyes.

Releasing the breath that she hadn't realized she was detaining, Stef lay carefully aside her, directing her gaze to the stained popcorn ceiling. She was finally assured enough by Callie's pacified state to let her own eyes drift softly shut… but, just in case, the teenager's hand was still loosely linked in her own— and, surprisingly, it was Callie who held on tighter.

**Chapter Eighteen: A Bittersweet Good-bye**

Stef woke with a start, surprised by the bright sunlight cascading into the dusty and unfamiliar room. She caught the face of the clock in her surveillance, and it was flashing noon already— the wearied travelers were still in Indiana. _Ugh. I should call Lena back. She probably thinks that we have been driving for hours by now. _At the thought of her stunning and saintly wife, no matter the circumstance, Stef couldn't suppress a sleepy smile. She would be elated to lay eyes on them.

Stef's determination to chase after Callie alone had been a problematic conclusion for both women, but Lena had finally understood that the others would rely on her reassuring presence at home—and that Jude would especially require her attention. She had fought the notion at first, inclined to accompany her wife in the search for their missing heart, but, after one look at Jude's distraught and crumbling shape, Lena had to acknowledge that Stef was right. So, she had rocked the boy softly and kissed her better half in a bittersweet good-bye, tears obstinately tracking down her sculpted cheeks. It was not the honeymoon that either had anticipated.

Stef was about to grab her cell when she realized that her hand was cold and empty…

Fighting to keep the choking desperation out of her voice, she cried out frantically, "CALLIE? Where are you?"


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Ahhh… Thank you all SO MUCH for the outpouring of love! I will be back tomorrow with a longer chapter, I promise :)**

**Chapter Nineteen: Void**

"I'm in the bathroom," a small voice responded, after a second of agonizing silence. "I left the door open," she added in typical teenage fashion, laced with overtones of _like, duh, I followed your dumb rule._ She sounded just like Mariana.

Stef imagined the girl to be rolling her eyes and couldn't prevent a relieved chuckle from escaping; it was short-lived, however, as Stef quickly recollected that she was not supposed to leave her new daughter alone. Attempting to conceal her anxiety and lessen the tension that was suddenly overwhelming her, she questioned, "What are you doing in there? I can't handle another child with a nose ring."

The smile left Stef's lips as soon as she appeared in the doorway. The bathroom window yawned open, and the screen was visibly tattered…

But Callie was perched on the closed toilet, knees drawn up to her chest. She buried her head in her lap upon Stef's entrance. "I… I couldn't… do it."

"Do what, love? What were you going to do?" Callie didn't have to answer her, however. The unshuttered window was reply enough.

Stef sank down the wall opposite Callie, almost wishing that she could pray for guidance. "I am so glad, honey, that you didn't. SO, so glad." She leaned her head against the exposed drywall and tried to calm her racing heart. "Your momma would have KILLED me. I promised her that you were safe, with me— that you were coming home. Not to mention that I… I couldn't look in the mirror if I let you get away again." Stef tilted her head against Callie's now, not endeavoring to make eye contact, but allowing a small amount of her own vulnerability to be exposed by the gesture.

Callie felt a righteous anger bubble up her throat at the words, but it no longer carried a real influence. Instead of shouting like she intended, her eyes filled with unshed tears and her message was almost wholly muffled, "Lena is not my mom, and you aren't either! She's— she's—" She felt the word "gone" so completely in the void of her heart that it seemed unnecessary to continue, even if she had been able to.

"I know, babe… and I'm sorry—you're absolutely right. Sometimes I forget that wanting something to be true doesn't automatically make it so. I guess that I assumed you knew Lena and I would never try to replace your mother's memory, but –"

"No," Callie softly interrupted, "I do know that. I didn't mean..." She looked up at the woman now, and was startled to find irritated scratches on Stef's hands and arms. A sob heaved in her chest. "I'm so sorry," she moaned. "I'm so sorry." With that, Callie's head disappeared back into the comfort of her own embrace, and her hair fell like a blanket around her.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: So, I'm not done updating yet today... but I'm feeling impatient and want to know what you guys think so far! :)**

**Chapter 20: A Lake of Hope**

_Oh, why hadn't she left when she'd had the chance? _Callie's brain was like an old record player, caught on the same distorted lyric and grinding repetitively. She was unqualified to provide herself with an unbiased answer, but she did recognize that one truth had ultimately shifted. _Running didn't feel very selfless anymore. _She was bitterly ashamed at her earlier outburst and consumed by a wicked guilt every time that Stef stirred in her seat, clearly uncomfortable after so many hours behind the wheel. The cop's lack of complaint, even concerning the fingerprint bruises that were rapidly forming across her biceps, only intensified Callie's personal sense of despair. Most of all, however, she was furious at her inability to control the resilient pool of hope that had been steadily flooding the marshlands of her mind since their first confrontation. It was usually so easy to drain the intrusive emotion— but with every failure to force Stef away—it had fed on itself, seeping into the deepest furrows of its habitat. Now its voice was louder than she had ever recalled it to be, and it seemed to shout at her in the frenzy of its newly established stronghold. _You've tried fleeing, and that didn't work. You've tried being silent, and that didn't work. You've tried being angry, and that really didn't work. Face it; the only option left is to talk. _Callie felt like her head had been swamped by a renegade lake of hope. _Maybe Stef will understand, after all. She hasn't abandoned you yet. _Thankfully, just as she began to drown, the faithful vehemence that she feared she had lost snaked around her again, albeit weakly, holding her chin just above water. "_Yet" is the operative word_, it faintly hissed, and Callie was at least reassured by the familiar sickness of its tone. _Yes, she would talk to Stef… She would not hesitate or alter reality as she saw it. She would inject the poison of her thoughts in lethal doses, because it was her only option— and damn if she didn't spite her hope in the process._

Stef stole another glance at her passenger, wondering what was going through the adolescent's mind. It was almost 4 pm now; the sun had been shining since early afternoon, and they had been back on the road for a couple of hours. After she had soothingly asserted that there were no grounds for apology, Stef was pleased to observe that Callie had calmed slightly. She had not, on the other hand, appreciated Stef's strategy for ensuring her safety after the near-escape. The woman internally smiled at the recent memory, however sad its context; in serious need of a shower, but not willing to risk leaving Callie unattended once more, Stef had made the girl balance on the bathroom counter and read aloud from the only available material, a Bible. As the hot water rejuvenated her aching joints, Stef had amiably listened to the girl's monotonous oration that the world had been created in seven days. Finally, the two had checked out of the crumby wayside, Callie noticeably cringing when Stef forked over additional cash for the busted screen. Immediately sensing her distress, the blonde had whispered, "it's a small price to pay, my love," and Callie couldn't help but trust in her sincerity.

She watched as Stef maneuvered the vehicle into an exit lane now, pointing to a restaurant on the horizon. "Are you as hungry as I am? Looks better than skittles and chocolate."

"I don't know about that," the teen smirked in response, eliciting a broad grin from her taken aback cohort.

"Well, all right then," she snorted. "A challenge!" Turning into an empty stall, Stef was hopeful that Callie had just given her the opening she was waiting for. _Maybe she was finally ready to talk. _

The pair walked side by side into the diner, stepping in sync to a rhythm of their own.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 21: Impossible**

After selecting the greasiest meals featured on the limited menu, Stef stretched her muscles and settled back into the booth.

"So, my dear, where should we begin?"

Callie shrugged; she knew it was coming but that didn't mean she had to drive the locomotive herself. Stef could conduct the interview. Callie was simply along for the ride because, to be honest, she couldn't be confident in their final destination anyways… it was too difficult to predict which way the tracks were leaning. She was still waiting to be told that she had the wrong ticket, actually, that it was a lucky mistake that she had been allowed to traverse life's railways with Stef as far as she had.

"Well… how about we finish the discussion that we started earlier?" Stef ventured, motioning towards Callie's forearm.

An insistent shake of Callie's head redirected Stef's proposal. The girl wasn't ready to go there just yet, judging by the panic that seemed to have seized Callie upon the request and was reflected in her demeanor.

"Ok…" Stef flipped through the catalog of necessary conversations in her mind, and decided to focus on Callie's initial comment, the one that she had made at their reunion. She paused until the teen relaxed again, visibly thankful that she had avoided Stef's first train of thought, for the moment. "When I found you in the rain, what did you mean when you said, 'what could you use?' What did you think was going to happen, Callie?"

The second question wasn't any easier to address, and Callie suddenly felt that talking would be impossible after all. At an immediate loss, her hands instinctively gripped the skin above her elbows, and she began to frantically dig her nails into the tender flesh. _It didn't matter that Stef had taken her tool_, she justified. _I can find something else in the bathroom. _Because the sad reality was that Callie wasn't truly safe anywhere unless she choose to be… the world was full of naturally sharp objects, all as disposable as her image in the mirror.

**Chapter 22: Two Tickets, Please**

Stef was watching her movements carefully, and Callie's subconscious skin piercing instantly alarmed her. It was only this morning that had she witnessed the girl spiral out of control in the same desperate fashion, so, when Callie stood abruptly, Stef did too. Without a word, the teen began to stride towards the restroom with Stef at her heels. The latter didn't want to create a scene in the local establishment, so she waited until the door swung shut behind them before grabbing Callie's shoulder in an effort to keep the girl from entering a private stall. Stef breathed a quick sigh of relief when she saw that they were alone. It was not as if her response would have been modified with an audience, but the situation could easily be misinterpreted. She locked the door behind them.

"Callie… baby, STOP. The rules have not changed. And I need you to hear me when I say that you're not calling the shots anymore, I am." There was a grave emphasis on her final words, and she spun Callie around to face her. "I know that you hurt, love, I can see it all over you. But this is not a solution." She paused briefly before issuing her next command. "Now, sit down. I need to see for myself what you are hiding, what you've done to yourself."

Callie's body seemed to invert itself protectively, and her fists remained clenched, but she did not pull away from Stef again. She let the woman lead her to the small couch in the corner of the room. _Why do people put loveseats in public restrooms? I've never understood it… _Callie coerced her mind into becoming blissfully blank and fixed her eyes on the wall's shabby display of floral prints; she felt a numbness wash over her with gratitude.

She could sense Stef's slight hesitation; then her layers slowly, patiently lifted, and Callie felt fresh air hit her festering wounds. She turned her attention to the injuries, unable to feign disinterest at her handiwork. The letters were persistently raw and gaping, indelibly legible: UNLOVABLE. Callie's rigorous concentration was arbitrarily ruptured by a low, rasping moan… and it wasn't coming from her this time.

Astonished by the unexpected sound, Callie sought to meet Stef's gaze, but the woman's eyes appeared to be trapped on the sight before her, and they were unabashedly overflowing. Still comfortably disconnected from the scene playing out before her now, Callie watched in wonder as Stef attempted to repress the minute convulsions that were shuddering her strong frame.

"Oh, my sweet baby…" she finally choked, tracing her finger lightly along the engravement, "I think that I see the problem." Her tears caressed Callie's shredded skin like a healing balm. "This arm," she continued, pointing accusingly, "its been lying to you all along."

A shy, yet indisputable smile crossed Callie's lips as she surveyed Stef tracing the outlines of her pain instead of wrenching away. _Her ticket was valid. She was going to be able to ride these rails a while longer. _


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Thank you all so much for the continued reviews and for your patience with my delayed updates. I cannot promise that I will be very prompt in the future, since work is in full swing again, but I hope that you will stick with me because I have every intention of finishing the story! What follows is a short chapter (sorry), but I really hope that you like it regardless :)**

**Chapter 23: The Right Words**

"I… I thought that it was going to happen again." Callie's statement appeared to arrive out of the blue.

They were back at the table now, and the food had been served in their absence. Stef had taken her first, tentative bite when it registered that Callie's words were in fact a response to her earlier question.

She swallowed. "You thought that what was going to happen again, love?"

Callie concentrated on her own plate, but continued nonetheless. "When I saw the headlights… saw someone coming towards me." She swirled the mashed potatoes with her fork as a distraction. "I couldn't run fast enough… and… I thought it was going to happen again." She met Stef's gaze briefly now, willing the woman to follow her hint.

"Are you referring to what happened with… Liam?" Stef suffered from instantaneous guilt upon the pronunciation of his name, knowing full well the effect that it had on Callie. But she needed to be certain that they were on the same page in this dialogue—she needed to understand what her daughter was feeling. Already, without all of the other children or tedious daily distractions, Stef was more adept at discerning Callie's individual patterns of behavior; and, if nothing else, the journey so far had taught her that a broken niña had been howling inside the adolescent all along, wondering at her own invisibility, yet actively hiding just beneath the surface of a cultivated and phony façade.

A small nod was confirmation.

After several more seconds of redecorating her plate but ingesting nothing, Callie peeked up at her companion, who seemed to be chewing on her own thoughts presently.

When she finally spoke, the rebuttal was surprisingly sharp, "And so you figured… what? If you can't beat them, join them? Callie, I don't think that I have to tell you how—"

"You're right. You don't," the teen interposed, knowing full well that she had been both incredibly stupid and fortunate at the same time. She couldn't handle being awash in the undercurrent of Stef's frustration, on top of her own.

"Good. But I want to finish anyways." Stef sought for the language to proceed, for a message to diffuse Callie's distorted logic. "What happened with Liam wasn't your fault. I know that and you know that. It was unforgiveable. And it is, unfortunately, another scar that you will have to bear, no matter how much I wish… that we all wish… we could change it. But asking for trouble is not going to give you back what you lost, Callie. Hurt does not heal hurt, or even truly mask it." She paused to take note of the reaction, but Callie's eyes remained stubbornly downturned. "Pain, in all forms, is illusive, baby. You may think that you're controlling it… by cutting, or by consciously allowing others to abuse you… but don't you see, love? It's the other way around—your pain owns you now… because you have justified its cause and let it get away with murder."

Stef sat back in her seat with a sigh, hoping with all of her heart that the words she had chosen would resonate.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Another short chapter follows… thank you to those of you who said that you didn't mind :) **** Happy Tuesday!**

**Chapter 24: Homecoming**

"I miss you too baby," Stef murmured into the phone at her ear, one hand on the wheel again. "We'll be home soon…ish… Where are the kids going to be?" She nodded in relieved affirmation of Lena's reply, glancing once over at Callie, whose eyes remained transfixed on the sights ahead. Stef had not been able to communicate with her wife in confidence yet, but she had not neglected to text at every gas stop and bathroom break over the extended and monotonous drive, updating the sitting beauty on their progress and finally directing her to clear their house of children in an effort to reconnect with Callie as a couple. The homecoming had eaten hours upon hours already, but a formidable road still stretched before the travelers.

Now, apparently tired of reading her love's mind instead of hearing it, Lena had called. At "Hello," Stef was acutely anxious to be home, back in the brunette's arms. She knew that she would profit from her partner's nurturing touch, as would Callie, when they tackled the essential, yet unspoken, conversations— as well as the impending fallout. If she were being truly honest with herself, Stef would admit that the pillar was leaning; her strength felt zapped. For the moment, Lena's voice was enough to hold her upright, however, and she couldn't halt the blush that crept up her cheeks at the obvious purr in the receiver. In any other circumstance, an empty house would have spelled a much different type of butterfly than the ones that were currently occupying Stef's stomach. She knew that Lena was giddy at the prospect of her girls returning safely to the nest, equivalent to a returning of her own sanity, but she also knew that Lena did not know everything; she wished that she could crawl into her wife's bed of ignorance to cuddle.

As though sensing the cop's silent trepidation, Lena shifted gears to align with her spouse's current motion, "Let me talk to Callie, Stef. Will she talk to me?"


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: At the risk of being repetitive, I want to express my gratitude for ALL of the beautiful and supportive reviews! In fact, a couple of them have specifically guided this chapter, and the one that's coming! I would like to especially thank those wonderful individuals for the inspiration :) **** I'm hoping to add one more chapter today, but I'm still mulling over its content, so feel free to advise me! YOU'RE ALL AWESOME!**

**Chapter 25: "Full of Sound and Fury, Signifying Nothing"**

Stef palmed the phone and looked worriedly at Callie, "Lena would like to speak to you, love…"

Fear sprang into Callie's eyes, and she shook her head slowly from side to side. She could not fail to recall the mulish ferocity that spawned in Lena whenever her family was threatened. Callie had ruined their honeymoon… along with everything else that she touched. The bride was bound to be furious, and Callie was paralyzed at the thought of that fury directed towards her now, knowing that it could easily cause the fragile safety net that Stef had been weaving to swiftly unwind. Truthfully, Stef was apprehensive about the same issue, but an additional fear had kidnapped her heart. Callie had lashed out several times already, and, it was one thing for her to cuss at Stef, but the officer wouldn't stand for anyone to address her wife disrespectfully, although she was aware of the reality: Lena handled aggressive youth on a regular basis, and the slender administrator was as full of inner strength as Stef was physically masterful.

The blonde pulled into the emergency lane and parked the vehicle hastily, catching Callie's tragic expression. She whispered soothingly, "Lena loves you, sweets. She might be upset for a little while… but she sees you as one of our babies now, for better or for worse. Mothers are allowed to get angry… but they always forgive their children. I know that we didn't give birth to you or Jude, and we haven't been in your lives for very long… but it only takes a second for the sunrise to steal a heart, or for the ocean to calm a soul… and love that comes suddenly is not lessened by its speed." Stef cupped Callie's cheek in her free hand. "I'm sure that you're scared about going home, about Lena finding out that you've been hurting yourself, about opening up and admitting why you ran, and about receiving the help that you know we need to provide you… But, no matter what, baby, Lena and I… we are not leaving you. It is simply not an option. So, take a deep breath and be kind to the woman who wants so badly to be your mama."

Depositing the phone into Callie's hands and kissing her forehead lightly, Stef pulled back into traffic with ease. She found a profound solace in her certainty that Lena had heard every word aimed at their delicate daughter.


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: So, that's it for today… thank you all for the feedback… I REALLY hope that I didn't disappoint anyone! And Starophie, your reviews are the treasure, not the other way around :)**

**Chapter 26: Promise Me**

Lena was so engulfed in her wife's words, and so thrown by the bomb that had been indirectly detonated, that it was startling when Callie finally picked up the receiver and gave a meek hello. She compelled her heart to restart and warned her tongue to be patient.

"Hey, kid. You have no idea how great it is to hear your voice." Callie sought for the appropriate reply, but there was only a moment's delay before Lena proceeded in a tone that was both stern and tender, "Did Stef tell you how terrified we have been? How much we have missed you? How crazy we have all been going over here?"

Callie nodded and then felt a reddening embarrassment; Lena could not see the gesture, obviously. "Yes… I… thank you."

"How's the drive? Do you have enough to eat? Did you two get enough sleep?" Callie was not surprised by the barrage of questions. Lena was always more likely to let emotion dictate her rate of speech and range of behavior, whereas Stef was more akin to an island that remains steady while stormed by a sea of divergence. The combination of their polar tactics filled Callie with a sense of predictable consolation. _At least she doesn't seem too angry… unless she's just waiting for us to get ho… back to San Diego. _Regardless of the recent breakthroughs in communication, and the thousands of reassurances that Stef had uttered over the past 20 hours of her rescue, Callie was not very confident about their return. The closer their approach, the more her net seemed to disintegrate. _What kind of help does Stef plan on "providing?" Will she have a choice in the matter? How is Lena going to react to her wounds… will she be repulsed and convince Stef that they made a mistake in offering to keep her and Jude? Would she regret bringing Callie home all together? And then there's the kiss… why hadn't Stef asked her about that yet? Was she just waiting until they could turn her over to Bill at Social Services? Would they turn over Jude as well? _Yet again, the teen felt cursed. She had one last chance to save the guarantee she made her brother.

Ignoring the queries that Lena was continuing to pose, Callie mustered up the courage to speak, "Lena? Can you promise me something, please?" She could feel the weight of Stef's gaze now, boring into her with troubled curiosity, but Callie did not turn to face her. Instead, upon verification, she plunged determinedly ahead, "Promise me that, no matter what happens when we get back, you'll adopt Jude." She conjured the brunette's image outside of the Juvenile Detention Center, remembering how she had instinctively understood the poverty in Callie's eyes, and she willed the woman to intuit it once more.

Lena attempted to conciliate the adolescent by pledging to shelter both children, however, and Callie was unable to stop the anguish from rising up her throat and into her phrasing; her voice became progressively brassy and transparently frantic.

"You both keep telling me that! But all that I NEED to hear is that you will keep Jude, NO MATTER WHAT. WHY CAN'T ANYONE PROMISE ME THAT?" She appeared to be drawing near hysterics.

Stef put her hand on Callie's bouncing knee, wondering if she should pull over again.

The teen jerked away, too agitated by the mothers' joint refusal to acknowledge her necessity. The phone slid out of her fingers as Callie's blood began to twitch. She felt its track through her body grow increasingly erratic, racing up in some areas and down in others, leaving her with an intolerable sense of internal collision. It seemed to press against the under-layer of her skin and beg for dispatch. The proverbial hiss resurfaced: _They can't promise you that they'll keep Jude because they WON'T now, and it's YOUR FAULT. They're LYING. They've been manipulating you all along, and now you're trapped…_

Lena's voice was tiny in her lap, and Callie could no longer hear what she was saying; the entire world seemed to be suddenly stuck in slow motion, except for the liquid in her veins, which was moving so fast in comparison that the result was dizzying.

Before she had time to process the implications of her injudicious actions, Callie's fist smashed into the glass of the passenger window.

Stef swerved in shock, and a painful shriek pierced the air; grabbing the phone unceremoniously from its new location, Stef tried to maintain the balance of her vocal cords. "We are going to have to call you back, love."

Insistence spilled out of the impotent listener, "Is everything OK? Tell me, Stef. Tell me the truth. How big of a problem are we dealing with, on a scale of one to ten?"

"At this point? Eleven."


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: So, I didn't intend to add any more chapters tonight, but it just felt necessary after that last one!**

**Chapter 27: Unusually Unencumbered**

Callie bent double, clutching her right hand tightly in the left. With every excruciating throb, her breathing regulated; her blood slowed in satisfaction. Time was restored.

She hadn't even noticed that they had exited the highway and were currently idling in a foreign, local park until Stef had opened the passenger door and was kneeling before her. She had been watching the teen self-soothe, and, even though Stef was conscious of the psychology, it was utterly astonishing to observe the incredible tranquility wash over Callie in the aftermath of her violence. The window was fine, designed to withstand hurricane winds, but Callie's hand was another matter.

Stef pulled the limb from the girl's grasp, gently probing each finger and muscle, appraising the damage and determining whether a trip to the ER was imminent. When she was convinced that no permanent or significant harm had been inflicted, Stef tugged Callie to her feet.

"Let's stretch our legs for a bit. I could use a walk."

After they had circled a third of the wooded, community lot in silence, Stef began. "I promise you that we will adopt Jude, no matter what."

Callie froze in mid-step and stared openly at the speaker, her mouth slightly agape. After a confirmative assessment of the woman's deportment, she propelled her body towards Stef's, wrapping her arms around the blonde's waist in genuine adoration and squeezing with all her might. After a bewildered pause, Stef beamed and encircled the girl in reciprocation. She did not, however, hinder the ultimatum from slipping through her lips as she rocked the child currently locked in her embrace. "If you try to hurt yourself one more time on the trip home, Callie, you and I are going to have to detour in search of a psychiatric facility. Do you understand me?" There was no room for negotiation in the statement, and Callie raised her head just enough to make eye contact; she did not attempt to veil her tears before responding.

"Yes. Absolutely. I'm sorry. Thank you…. just… thank you." She buried her head once more, feeling, for the first time, as though she had nothing to lose by admitting that she loved her foster mothers. Wyatt had been right about at least one thing… Callie was more afraid of putting her heart on the line than of breaking the rules. Maybe there was something to be said about it being better to love and lose than to never love at all. Jude was going to be legally and perpetually protected, and that was all that truly counted. If Callie lost the love of the Fosters, she would still be stronger for possessing it briefly; and Jude would own it forever. She felt lighter than she had dreamed possible in a long time, and she chose to welcome the feeling instead of wrestle with it. _She was going to elect trust, in place of suspicion, as leader of her heart. _After enjoying a rare moment of peace, Callie retracted her body from the comfortable pose and asked to borrow the phone.

Something in her gut told Stef not to question the teen's motive; she turned over the device without faltering.

It only rang once. "Stef? What's happened? Is our baby all right? Did—"

"It's me." Callie took a deep breath and pictured her mom. Three images flashed in succession behind her eyes. One was a woman with glasses and cheekbones identical to the ones that Callie distinguished in the mirror; the second was standing beside her, a brave and brawny blonde; and the third was waiting for her now, waiting on the other line, waiting for permission to love her without restraint. Enveloped by a security previously unbeknown, Callie dared to put her heart on the line without her masonry crew in the wings, preparing to build up defenses. "I'm sorry that I scared you… I'm sorry that I ran… and I'm sorry for… for so many other things that I'd like to confess in person. But, most of all, I'm sorry that I didn't tell you the truth…because I missed you too, and I'd like to come home now."


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 28: "There's No Place Like Home"**

The quaint, brown bungalow appeared to grin in a gracious reception of its two, departed voyagers; Stef parked in the driveway and pivoted to face Callie.

"This is it, babe. Are you ready?"

The teen was unable to digest the question in its entirety before her door had opened, however, and Lena towered before her. The long-legged lady caught a ragged breath in her throat prior to yanking Callie into a fierce hug and rubbing her hands up and down the teen's back in an effort to assure herself of the reality. It was Wednesday afternoon, and, as promised, the Foster children were all occupied elsewhere. Lena had requested a personal day, unsure of her family's approximate arrival.

Callie stood stock still, out of habit, but, as the scent of vanilla crowded her senses and the intensity of Lena's embrace encased her, she wilted in a tangible form and bound her own arms around the figure holding her now.

Stef stepped out of the vehicle and leaned wearily against the metal frame for a moment, exposed delight dancing across her features at the reunion. She made her way to the couple, intertwining her limbs with those already entangled and finding her wife's lips above the adolescent's head. Callie, who was snuggly nestled between the two women, felt the tango of their united hearts, a composition so magnificent that it weakened her knees and sang in her soul.

Eventually, the trio linked elbows and made their way into the home, synergized steps skipping on the yellow brick road. A harmonious recognition dawned on Callie at once: with a mother on either side, she could confront lions, and tigers, and bears…. _Oh my!_


End file.
